


It's Free Therapy

by halictus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Therapy, couples therapy, get together (sort of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:47:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halictus/pseuds/halictus
Summary: “It’s free therapy,” Sirius defended.“Well—I—” Remus tried. “I thought we weren’t pretending to be a couple! I thought I was just your—I don’t know—plus one!”
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 24
Kudos: 140





	It's Free Therapy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WanderingBandurria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanderingBandurria/gifts), [fforsythiaaa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fforsythiaaa/gifts).



> Come say hi on Tumblr! Here is a link: [@halictus-writer](https://halictus-writer.tumblr.com)
> 
> CW: there is a very brief reference to conversion therapy, but that is not at all the type of therapy in this story

“Okay, Sirius, that’s all the time we have for today.” His therapist punctuated the statement by closing his notepad—albeit gently—and leaning back in his huge chair with a smile. It was just as over-cushioned as the one Sirius sat in across from him. 

“Cheers,” Sirius said, and swiped at his nose one final time with his current tissue.

“Just a reminder that next week I won’t see you, but the following week we’ll resume our regular schedule.” He paused for a moment, and Sirius nodded to confirm. 

“I’ll take notes for you, so I can update you on all of the people who wrong me over the next two weeks. Like a burn book? Or I could start vague-blogging,” Sirius mused. 

His therapist nodded slowly. “Let’s spend some time next session talking about what you just said.”

Sirius had to fight the smile that threatened to form on his lips. Dully, he nodded. He knew his therapist knew best, and he was happy to work with him. It wasn’t his fault that his coping mechanisms were what they were.

“But, I did want to let you know that my colleague, Dr. Pine, is holding group therapy sessions on Thursday afternoons. She started last week, and you would be eligible to attend.” He handed over a brochure. At the top was an image of a man and woman frowning at each other in what looked like a park. At the bottom the same pair was smiling in a therapist’s office.

“Couples therapy?” Sirius questioned.

“Not strictly. She welcomes both couples and singles alike who are willing to work in a group setting. It may be helpful for you to gain experience talking about your feelings with more than just myself and your friend James.”

“Hmm.”

“It’s covered by your plan, and completely up to you.” At this, the man stood. He crossed the room to his file cabinets and inserted the notepad about Sirius into its place before latching it closed—as always.

Sirius stood, shook his hand, and left the room. He cried on his way home—as always—but took comfort in his near-privacy granted by his motorcycle helmet. The tears were mostly physical, since he already spent most of his emotions in the session.

***

“This is ridiculous,” Remus said, as he followed Sirius anyway—as always.

“Remus, it’s free therapy. What’s not to love?” 

“Well technically, it’s not free,” Remus argued—as always. “Your parents pay for it, and they don’t pay for _me_ to reap the benefits.”

“Well technically,” Sirius imitated in a high voice, prompting a quick glare from his friend, “they pay for me to become straight. Or they think they do. But I’m sure they’d be willing to spread the love! Look, you’re not straight. Just because they don’t know you doesn’t mean they wouldn’t want to generously pay for your straightening.”

At this, Remus finally broke his blank expression for a laugh. “You’re ridiculous,” he finally amended. 

“In a good way?” Sirius prompted. He didn’t see Remus’s wistful smile, but he felt his hand grab his shoulder.

“Come on, we’re going to be late.”

They were not late; they were early. Sirius sat in one of the fold-out chairs situated in a circle, prompting Remus to follow. He immediately struck up a conversation with a green-haired woman to his right. _Leave it to Sirius to make friends even in therapy_ , Remus thought.

Soon they were joined by the therapist and a few more couples. The seats weren’t all filled, but Remus knew it was already one o’clock, and the therapist cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention. The only people talking were Sirius and his new friends—two now—but they all looked over and ceased.

“Welcome everybody, my name is Dr. Pine.” She looked like an actress, Remus decided. She would play a comforting mom character—maybe it was the glasses. “I’m proud to see a few returning faces, and happy to see a few new couples as well.” She smiled towards Remus and then somewhere to the other side of the circle. “So for today, since we have all couples anyway, we’ll be starting with brief introductions, then you’ll all ask and answer a few guided questions to your partner, practicing our _active_ _listening_ skills.” She really looked like an actress. Remus wasn’t sure which one, he had never been good at remembering their names. He could envision her sitting on a perfectly white couch while holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other. The scene would set his teeth on edge—what if she spilled—but would only last a moment as her teenage son ran through the room. She would be sitting cross-legged, for some reason.

Remus didn’t realize that she thought they were all couples—the actress thing had really distracted him—until Sirius grabbed his hand during his introduction. “And Remus is my partner,” he concluded, lacing their fingers together.

With raised eyebrows, Remus turned to the rest of the group, who were all looking at him expectantly. Across the circle, one man reached for his partner’s hand. She withdrew it sharply, and crossed her arms.

“Remus, was it?” Dr. Pine asked gently. “Would you like to introduce yourself now?”

“Oh. Yes.” Belatedly, Remus gave his introduction, and soon the woman to his left was speaking. Once they broke for “within-couple question and answer time,” as Dr. Pine called it, pointing to questions written on a whiteboard in neat script, Remus turned to Sirius.

“What are you doing?” Remus asked in a whisper.

“Holding your hand.”

Remus narrowed his eyes at Sirius until he unclasped their fingers. “Why?”

“It’s free therapy,” Sirius defended.

“Well—I—” Remus tried. “I thought we weren’t pretending to be a couple! I thought I was just your—I don’t know—plus one!”

At this, Sirius grinned—crookedly, the bastard (it was Remus’s weakness, but Sirius didn’t need to know that). “When I was checking in they said it was singles with their own plans or couples if one person had a plan. So I checked that box. It’s fine.”

“Sirius, what—” Remus sputtered. He was still whispering, and Sirius’s nonchalance, while impractical and infuriating, was—as always—infectious. Sirius felt like adventure to Remus, whether for good or for bad. “We’re not a couple.”

“It’s free therapy,” Sirius repeated. “What is your favorite activity to relax and unwind in the evening?”

Remus blinked. “What?”

“It’s therapy, Remus!” Sirius cried. “Answer the question!”

Remus barked a laugh, and Sirius’s eyes crinkled in response. He could have said _you’re ridiculous_ , and Sirius could have replied _you love me anyway_ , but Dr. Pine was talking to the couple next to them, and Sirius already knew he won, because Remus was having fun—of course—and there was nothing to be done but answer the question. Free therapy.

“I like to read a book and lay down. Alone,” Remus said.

“No you don’t!”

“What?”

“Hi there, Sirius and Remus,” Dr. Pine said. “Mind if I listen in?”

 _Oh god, she thought we were fighting_ , Remus thought. And then, _well, we kind of were._ Sirius apparently nodded, though, because now she was asking for Sirius’s reasoning as to what he _thought_ Remus liked to do to wind down and relax in the evening.

“He has a cup of tea and sits silently near me and James. I’ve always thought it’s like his charging station. Once we’ve made enough noise and he’s finished the tea he’s all relaxed and ready to rant about his day.”

Remus’s eyebrows were firmly affixed to the top of his forehead.

“Remus, in response to what Sirius said, do you feel _heard_ , _seen_ , or maybe _not heard_ or _not seen_?” Dr. Pine asked.

“Um. Seen?”

“Okay,” Dr. Pine said gently. “If you agree with Sirius’s idea of how you like to relax best, then let’s ask _him_ the same question now, making sure to practice our _active listening_ skills.”

“What is your favorite activity to relax and unwind in the evening?”

“I like to snack while I talk to you. Being active is good for me, too, so a walk is nice. Or just pacing around the house to drive James mad.”

“Okay,” Remus said. He hadn’t thought about it much before, but Sirius’s answer seemed accurate. “So,” he questioned, “my ranting time is your relaxing time?”

“Yeah.” Sirius grinned. “It’s cute.” 

Remus blushed in spite of himself, Dr. Pine stood and moved to the next couple (who had slowly begun escalating their voices for some time now), and Remus turned to the whiteboard. “What animal do you relate to and why?”

***

Afterwards, as they walked through campus together, Sirius was all-but skipping. He had only recently dropped Remus’s hand, once the last unhappy couple walking nearby ducked into a coffee shop together. “I think we’re the happiest couple there. Everyone else is jealous of our relationship.” Sirius laughed.

“Winning at therapy,” Remus deadpanned. “That is something that is both normal to want, and possible to achieve.” This only prompted more laughter from Sirius, and Remus decided to join in. “Plus, we’re not a couple.”

“It’s free therapy.”

“It is.”

“Do you want curry for dinner? I think James is at Lily’s tonight.”

Remus’s eyebrows rose once more. He assumed Sirius would have made other plans already. “You want to make curry when James _isn’t_ there?”

“If he’s not there to see, we can just get takeout.” Sirius grinned.

Feeling like he was on the inside of a special joke—as always—Remus nodded in agreement and allowed Sirius’s energy to carry them to a nearby restaurant (specifically, the one James already complained about not looking authentic enough).

It wasn’t until Sirius was standing across from Remus at their kitchen counter, laughing with takeout boxes between them that he realized this was the first therapy session he had left without crying. And, maybe he likes holding Remus’s hand. In any case, it’s free therapy.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on Tumblr! Here is a link: [@halictus-writer](https://halictus-writer.tumblr.com)


End file.
